My name is Autumn Burgess. I am 35 years old and I suffer from depression, which runs in my family.
In April of 2009 I moved to Salt Lake City, Utah from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania which is where I was born and raised. Technically I do not have any sisters but I am the youngest of three girls. They are nine and ten years older than me. We do not share the same biological father. My half sister who is ten years older than me sees a therapist and takes medication for depression. When I was 16 my mother attempted to kill herself by overdosing. She passed away at the age of 54 from lung cancer. Looking back I now know that when she tried to kill herself was not the only time that my mom was depressed. Lemuel Lawson, my biological father was never around. Zachariah Taylor Walker III is the man that my mom chose the marry. He was abusive as well as an alcoholic. My mother’s twin suffered from depression as well as her son who is three years older than me.
It was at the age of 17 that my depression became noticeable. In 18 years I have had at least seven hospitalizations, at least eight suicide attempts, and too many to count suicide idealization with one homicidal idealization. Most of my adult life I have felt numb on the inside. I was not happy but I wasn’t sad either. After my last hospital stay I have been on new medication that seems to be working great.
I am writing this because there a millions of people who suffer from depression and I want those people to know they are not alone. Also, I would like people to know that there are placed to get help. Last but not least I want people to know the warning signs of someone with depression and also what depression is.
Welcome to my life with depression.