The Benifits of Exercising

I have worked with a personal trainer for over a year. She has helped me to lose 57lbs and 20% body fat. Just the change has helped me to feel better about myself. I know that not everyone can afford a personal trainer. When I am not meeting with my trainer I do some type of exercising. I have found apps for my phone that will give me a workout routine without using weights or having to go to the gym. One is #HIITCardioTraining another is #DailyCardioWorkout Nike also has an app with workouts.

When ever I go into the gym and am angry I never leave angry. I always feel less depressed or less angry if at all after I workout. Science has proven that exercising helps with depression. It helps speed metabolism and deliver more oxygen to the brain; the improved level of circulation in the brain tends to enhance your mood. It also helps to release feel good brain chemicals (neurotransmitters, endorphins and endocannabinoids). Another way exercise helps depression is by reducing immune system chemicals that can worsen depression while also increasing body temperature, which may have a calming effect (according to the Mayo Clinic)

Exercise also help many other illnesses such as: Diabetes, Fatigue, Glaucoma, Headaches, Heart Disease, High Blood Pressure etc…

As far as depression, when you are anyone is depressed going to the gym or exercising is the last thing that you want to do but once you get motivated, exercise can make a big difference.


Things To NOT Do OR Say To Someone Who Suffers From Depression

I feel very fortunate to have a support group. There are people who unfortunately do not have a support group. Many of the friends I have treats me better than my own family. They have been with me through the most trying of times. They spend time with me when I am having a difficult day. They give me rides, take me to lunch or dinner among many other things. There are times that people who are my friend will say something that are things you just should not say to someone who truly suffer from depression.

1. Oh… don’t be depressed. People to truly suffer from depression DON’T want to be depressed. You telling someone to not be depressed does not help. It does not give a solution to the problem.

2. If you smile it will trick your brain into believing that you are happy, then you will smile more. Someone told me to do that but it did not work. All it did was make me frustrated. When I talked to the therapist he said that is true for someone who does NOT suffer depression.

3. Unless the person asks for advice do not give it. My friend tried to give me advice about reaching out in the future. She made the assumption that their was going to be a next time. My friend did lacked any confidence in me. That just made me feel let down by the fact she doesn’t think that I can go on with my life without wanting to kill myself.

4. Last but not least… Just think positive and you won’t be depressed anymore. That is a myth. Just because a person may think positive doesn’t mean that it will bring the person out of depression. It may help for a  moment, but if the underlying problem is not taken care of then the person will continue to suffer whether or no they have positive thoughts in their mind.

None of these comment are supportive. I understand people mean well. The most important thing to do is LISTEN and VALIDATE. You don’t have to agree with the person but we just want people to try to understand us!


Thanks for reading!

At Peace Despite Depression

I have been out of the hospital for slightly over a week. I was in a psych unit due to suicide idealization. While I was in the hospital my medication was completely changed. They work great! Since my release I have been feeling great. My friends who do not understand what I have been through but try to give me advice… unwelcome advice. I know that she means well. The way the person talks it sounds as if she is stressed for me. My decision is to keep the peace and not stress.

Due to something that I told the psychiatrist I was terminated from my job. Instead of being supportive she decided to give me advice. She mentioned that my hospital bill would be expensive. Continuing she said that for the future I should find other ways to reach out to people so that it’s not so expensive. Towards the end she asked me if I would do anything different knowing that I would be fired. I told her no. I would not do ANYTHING different. I am at peace with my life and am not thinking ahead to bills or things that I have no control over. I have decided to take things one day at a time. If I live in the past or the future then I will miss the present.

In addition to that each day I fight to not have irrational thoughts. That is something I have a hard time with. When I do have those kind of thoughts it’s because I’m either living in the past or future. An example of an irrational thought would be, me replaying a conversation I had with a friend over and over and trying to read into it. My friend J told me that she could understand why I would be tempted to do that. To me that statement lead me to think that she felt that I was capable to harm someone else instead of me having a thought to harm someone. I had to keep telling myself that it was in the past. Don’t look into it so much. Last but not least focus on today. That is something I have to tell myself often. But so far it has been helpful.


Living with Depression

My name is Autumn Burgess. I am 35 years old and I suffer from depression, which runs in my family.

In April of 2009 I moved to Salt Lake City, Utah from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania which is where I was born and raised. Technically I do  not have any sisters but I am the youngest of three girls. They are nine and ten years older than me. We do not share the same biological father. My half sister who is ten years older than me sees a therapist and takes medication for depression. When I was 16 my mother attempted to kill herself by overdosing. She passed away at the age of 54 from lung cancer. Looking back I now know that when she tried to kill herself was not the only time that my mom was depressed. Lemuel Lawson, my biological father was never around. Zachariah Taylor Walker III is the man that my mom chose the marry. He was abusive as well as an alcoholic. My mother’s twin suffered from depression as well as her son who is three years older than me.

It was at the age of 17 that my depression became noticeable. In 18 years I have had at least seven hospitalizations, at least eight suicide attempts, and too many to count suicide idealization with one homicidal idealization. Most of my adult life I have felt numb on the inside. I was not happy but I wasn’t sad either. After my last hospital stay I have been on new medication that seems to be working great.

I am writing this because there a millions of people who suffer from depression and I want those people to know they are not alone. Also, I would like people to know that there are placed to get help. Last but not least I want people to know the warning signs of someone with depression and also what depression is.

Welcome to my life with depression.